2006 Pregames

Our announcer for the year was Kevin Smith ’07

9/16/2006 — Lehigh

The band did not perform at Lehigh this year this year due to conflicts with recruiting activities (it was the first weekend after classes started).

9/23/2006 — Lafayette

Fire in the hole! It’s the Princeton University Band! (Cannon) So we noticed the Lafayette Band isn’t here. Now isn’t THAT strange… a bunch of Frenchmen not showing up to a competition of strength? I wonder where they are…
  • Hiding behind the Maginot Line?
  • Going on strike?
  • Invading Russia in winter?
  • Doping up for the next Tour De France?
  • Keeping the peace in Lebanon? Oh wait…
  • Invading the moon… in winter?
Saluting our Franco-American friends, the Band plays the French national anthem. (Band forms a lower-case ‘l’ and plays “La Marseilles”) And now: Ooh la la Coup d’etat Cul de sac Je ne sais quoi Sacre bleu! Laissez-faire Notre Dame Faux Pas Depardieu Bourgeoisie Fetchez le vache Baton Rouge Voulez-vous couchez avec The Double-Double-Rotating-P! (Band forms the Double Double Rotating P and plays “Going Back”) And now, please rise for the playing of the National Anthem. (Band plays “The Star-Spangled Banner”)

9/30/2006 — Columbia

Like it or not… it’s the Princeton University Band! (Due to time constraints, the band scrambles onto the field) We haven’t been here in a while, you know. Apparently two years ago it was your “250th Anniversary”… but really, we think you must have had something else up your sleeves. Were you celebrating:
  • 25 years of GHOSTBUSTERS 2?!
  • Spiderman’s 21st birthday with strippers, booze, and… bug guts?!
  • The purchase of Babe Ruth with strippers, booze, and… bug guts?! Seriously, what is it with you kids and bug guts?!
  • The opening of “Seinfeld the Musical! On Ice!
  • The duel between Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton… oh wait…
Forming a little “c” for “capped like Alexander Hamilton,” the Band plays Roar Lion Roar. (Band forms a little “c” and plays “Roar Lion Roar”) And now… Candygram Two wild and crazy guys More cowbell! Superstahhh Isn’t that special?! Would you like to touch my monkey? Talk amongst yourselves Goulet! That’s the ticket Fire BAAAAD! Party Time! Excellent! And Live… from New York… it’s the Double-Double-Rotating P! (Band forms Double-Double-Rotating P and plays “Going Back to Nassau Hall”) We’re on a mission from God.

10/7/2006 — Colgate

Note: The band was not allowed to perform a joke for this pregame, or even play anything on the field. Instead, we sat on the side of the field and watched as Colgate’s band got to perform their show and commiserated about how much we hate Colgate Athletics.

10/13/2006 — Brown

Getting a bad case of the munchies, it’s the Princeton University Band! (Band scrambles onto the field) Dude, did you know that Brown… is both a color… AND a SCHOOL?! Whoa….Whoa. Have you ever, like, felt music? I mean… really… felt it? The Brown Band made me feel so… yeeeaaahhh. Wow. So, if God… were, like, a color….could you, like… have a crayon… called GOD? Deeep. Dude. DUDE! Seriously, dude, did you just eat the last brownie. Not cool. Not. Cool. Man, it’s like….like a “b” …on the field. Put on some tunes, Band. (Band forms small ‘b’ and plays “Brown Cheering Song”) And now… Purple Haze Puff the Magic Dragon Eight Miles High Strawberry Fields Forever Mother’s Little Helper Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds Last Dance with Mary Jane White Rabbit Comfortably Numb, Casey Jones you’d better watch that Double-Double-Rotating-P!! (Band forms Double-Double-Rotating P and plays “Going Back”) And now, please rise for the playing of the National Anthem.

10/21/2006 — Harvard

Ruining a perfectly good Saturday, it’s the Princeton University Band! Cambridge has recently been gripped by a serious, violent crime wave. Fortunately for the beleaguered town, the football team is here this weekend, granting them a temporary reprieve. Now, everyone knows some of the more flagrant examples of their behavior, but here are some other ways the team has given the Crimson a black eye:
  • Wearing white after Labor Day
  • FILE sharing (gasp!)
  • Leaving the seat up.
  • Serving chardonnay with filet mignon (tsk tsk)
  • Peeing in the shower… Gross! Who does that?!
  • Breaking into the Harvard Art Museum… oh wait, that was us.
  • Having a bake sale without a permit!
  • Forming a little “h” for heinous atrocities, the Band plays Harvardiana.
And now… Crime and Punishment Crime of Passion Organized Crime Crime against Nature War Crimes High Crimes and Misdemeanors Crime Spree Crimea Crime Scene Investigators Campus Crime alert Do the crime, do the time And remember to help take a bite out of the Double-Double-Rotating-P! (Band forms Double-Double-Rotating-P and plays “Going Back”) And now, please rise for the playing of the national anthem.

10/28/2006 — Cornell

Cornell Athletics decided that the Princeton University Band would not be allowed to use the PA system at all for this game. We were told this the day before the game, and so we didn’t write a pre-game show.

11/4/2006 — Penn

Double-teaming Penn from the East and South, it’s the Princeton University Band and University of Virginia Pep Band! We in the Princeton Band would like to welcome both the Penn Band and the UVA Band to today’s game. After spending a few hours with the Virginia kids, though, we immediately realized that UVA, not Penn, should be the eighth Ivy. Here’s why:
  • Better colors
  • We’d never have to go back to Philadelphia
  • Thomas Jefferson could beat up Benjamin Franklin
  • Away games wouldn’t require armed guards
  • Penn throws toast, but UVA throws grits
  • Virginia is for lovers, but Pennsylvania is for Santorum
  • The Cavalier fights fiercely, but the Quaker is still a dork
Forming a little “p” for “punted from the Ivy League,” the Band plays “Fight On, Pennsylvania.” (Band forms small “p” and plays “Fight On, Pennsylvania”) And Now… Fifty-four Forty or Fight Tippecanoe and Tyler, too A New Deal I like Ike Peace with Honor Read my lips, no new taxes Lock-Box Stay the Course For a Stronger America It’s Time for a Change We’re gonna go to Washington and take back the Double-Double-Rotating-P! BYAWH! (Band forms Double Double Rotating P and plays “Going Back”) Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the playing of the National Anthem (Band plays “The Star-Spangled Banner”)

11/11/2006 — Yale

I forgot the come-on line, Band! Run on anyway! Our president Mary Gallery isn’t just an accomplished leader and trumpeter, she’s also going to save the world. Here’s how:
  • Solving hunger by killing all the poor children
  • Bringing peace to the Middle East by introducing Disneyland-Jerusalem
  • Lowering the crime rate by blowing up Chicago
  • Solving the AIDS crisis by making war, not love.
  • Eliminating alcoholism by drinking all of your booze
  • Making the world a better place by destroying the Princeton University Band
Mary had a little lambda, and it cried like a child when she murdered it. Speaking of things that make children cry, the Band plays Yale’s fight song. (Band forms lambda and plays “Bulldog”) And now Arrogant Drunk Egocentric Morbidly obese Loose Keira Knightley Well-endowed Racist Sadistic Dumb as a rock Convicted felon TOTALLY chill about her thesis And Really happy, It’s the Double-Double-Rotating-Sad-Mary-Face Run away, Band, before Mary makes you taste beer!

11/18/2006 — Dartmouth

You know you love us, it’s the Princeton University Band! We’d like to welcome the Dartmouth Band to today’s….wait, where’d they go?! What do you mean they’re not here?! Why on EARTH would anyone want to stay in Hanover?! There must be some reason they didn’t make it:
  • Watching the Michigan-OSU football game
  • Tried to ford the river, lost two oxen. Tsk tsk, they should’ve hired the Indian guide.
  • Contracted severe case of plaid envy
  • Decided to stay at Cornell an extra week. Suckers.
  • It’s not easy being green…
  • Celebrating the introduction of electricity to Dartmouth College
  • Jeez, maybe they just didn’t feel like coming. Give them a break!
Forming a little “d” for “defensive,” the Band plays the Dartmouth Fight Song. (Band forms a little “d” and plays, “As the Backs go Tearing By”) And Now… Burning Blazing Scorching Flaming Smoking Torching Combusting Igniting Smoldering Sizzling Crackling Blistering Singeing Roasting Flaring Consuming All-engulfing Harvard and Yale couldn’t withstand the heat of the Double-Double-Rotating-P! (Band forms the Double-Double-Rotating-P and plays “Going Back”) And now, please rise for the playing of the National Anthem.